Hello, New Chapter

...let's take this new relationship slow. I am honestly nervous, scared, anxious, excited, happy, lonely, calm and content right now. So to put it another way, I am feeling a lot of things right now. I am living in a new apartment with Josh. Yes, Josh and I know each other and have known each other for a while, we aren't close friends (yet). Living with someone new is a learning opportunity for me, and I am happy to be Josh's new roommate.

But I do miss Beau, a lot. Though I have settled into my new place and it looks like home, it doesn't quite feel like home (yet). So, I miss home too. I do get moments through out the day where I am sad, but I remind myself that's it's okay to be sad. I acknowledge it, let it flow through me, and let it go when I'm done. This is a very difficult situation to deal with, especially at night, but I know it will get easier as time goes on. And I know that this is something I need (and kind of want) right now. And I know this is something that Beau needs right now, too. I think it'll help us understand one another better once we have understood ourselves first.

I remind myself that I can now totally focus on myself and my wants and needs. Honestly, that is hard for me to do sometimes. I am always used to taking care of someone else first, before myself. I think that is pretty general of the female though. We are the mothers after all, the nurturers, care givers. I wouldn't be surprised if they find those traits stitched into our DNA. But I can be the focus of my care now! That's exciting! I only have myself to worry about, plus the girls (my cats).

So, new chapter, here you are. I would like if we became good friends :)