pathetic

~~~~~~~When I'm feeling like there's no love coming to me, and I have no love to give; when I'm feeling separated from the world, and cut off from myself; when I'm feeling annoyed by every little thing, because I'm not getting what I want; I'll remember that there is an infinite amount of love available to me, and I'll see it in you. I'll remember that I'm complete within myself, so I'll never have to look to you to complete me. And most of all, I'll remember that everything I really need I already have; and whatever I don't have will come to me when I'm ready to receive it.~~~~~~ i was watching a show last night and this poem came up, i found it inspirational. especially since i'm dealing with shit right now. i guess i feel like i'm repeating mistakes in this relationship as i have in past ones. i want to be with the one i love, and i feel like he is pulling away from me; not being honest about big decisions in his life, working on projects without sharing them with me (which is fine, i just wish i could help), spending (almost) every night out (which is again, fine, i just hate that i have to officially make plans with him now). i guess i take for granted that every night off he'll want to spend it with me. when we do hang out, we don't do anything. i feel like slowly our two paths are starting to fork away from each other. so here i am, trying to not be clingy, give him his space and not present my issues to him. the last time i did this in a relationship, we broke up 4 months later. i don't want to break up, i love him. so i'll try and be less available for him and let him be who he is and if it plays out that we break up, then i'll except that. i need to learn to be complete within myself ......... i sound pathetic.