this isn't fair

here i am stuck in a position where it is my responsibility to take care of my dad in some way. i need to find him a ride home from my uncle's house. the first person who said they'd do it, just backed out because it would ruin their plans. i understand that reasoning, but my only argument is why did you say yes in the first place? because you're too nice is not an excuse. you agreed to do it, thus you need to follow through or find a replacement. but instead i'm left doing it. it's my responsibility in the first place, and that's the thing it shouldn't have to be. the burden of taking care of my dad is really getting to me. i just want to be 23 years old. not 23 and taking care of a 48 year old teenager with a disability. that may sound selfish, but i'm doing the best i can. i don't think others see the sacrifices i'm making. some people don't agree that the burden of taking care of my dad should fall on me. but he doesn't have anyone else really. my grandparents are old and need to take care of themselves, plus they do the best they can to help. my aunts and uncles have their own families to take care of. and they also help out when they can. yes, i'm limited in that ii don't drive or have a car. my dad cannot drive right now, plus he has no car right now either. so i have to make arrangements with the closest person to me. i wish they would see how much i appreciate the things they do for me when it comes to running errands for my dad or myself. my dad also appreciates them very much as well, he may not express to their face all the time, but he does. he tells me he does. i don't like being put in the middle. having to defend a person who goes back on an arrangement they make. i look bad, they look bad, and it still doesn't solve the problem of how my dad is going to get home tonight. this isn't fair. i don't do anything wrong and i feel like i'm being shit on by two very important people in my life. one getting bitter because they have to do something they don't want as a favor to me and my dad, then going back on it. the other my dad who will get pissed off that they changed their mind and i thus have to defend that they had plans of their own this evening, but my dad too full of pride to listen. this is fucking bullshit!!!! i sometimes wish i could leave here, escape, get a new name, and disappear. GOD I NEED YOU NOW MORE THAN EVER! PLEASE GIVE ME THE STRENGTH TO CONTINUE ON IN THIS SITUATION YOU HAVE PUT ME IN RIGHT NOW. GIVE ME THE KNOWLEDGE TO KNOW WHAT I'M SUPPOSED TO DO RIGHT NOW. FREE ME FROM THIS CONSTANT STRUGGLE. BLESS MY FATHER SO HE CAN TAKE CARE OF HIMSELF AGAIN. HELP ME HELP ME HELP, PLEASE LORD WILL YOU JUST HELP ME!