an update from yesterday

okay, first i would like to apologize for how brash and harsh i may have sounded on my last post. i was angry at the time. i do understand that the advice i was given came from a place of love and care for me and my soul. i only got upset because it was advice that was not asked or needed right now. my feelings were that i have enough on my mind right now, why are we bringing this up to? i don't take back what i said, but how it may have come off. what i said was true - that's how i feel sometimes. and i don't like it. thank you to those friends who offered support, i appreciate your understanding. i guess the bottom line is that my walk with christ, is just that, mine. and i'm still learning and growing and trying to change things in my life. i ask that you please don't expect me to change soo much all at one time, that i can't handle. i'm strong enough to deal with the things that are affecting me. i just need time. and frankly, though i know it comes from a place of love and care for me, i don't want advice right now. because when i don't ask for it, then choose not to follow that advice, i feel like i'm being a disappointment to the one who gave it, and i'm being judged or mistrusted by the one who gave it. i'm stubborn, very stubborn. that is one of the things i pray that god will change about me. and until i can get over my sense of self sufficient stubbornness, everything else will unfortunately take a back seat. but please, no worries, have faith in me and patience. thank you